I am now serving, as I had hoped, in another year of service. This wasn't exactly as I had expected but worked out as I secretly had hoped. To fill in the blanks, my grad school applications went out a year ago without success. I chose to apply on a record-setting year for applications and my less-than-perfect GPA and high bar set for schools probably also didn't help. Everything worked out for good, however, since I now have a much better handle on the type of program that I want to work in and have applied to 3 very different schools this time around.
In the mean time, I also worked as a substitute teacher and pizza delivery guy, raised funds for my Bike and Build program, and trained myself into becoming a road-worthy cyclist. It wasn't what I would call the ideal life, but in retrospect I'm glad for what I had: supportive friends and family, a working car, and a relatively steady-- though frustrating-- job. It was one of the lower points of my life, but with the changes since then it just seems like a bad dream.
I left NCCC very hopeful (a bit naively so) and have regretfully been unable to completely reclaim that sense of that the world is welcoming to a smart and dedicated young person who means to do good. After the setbacks of the last year I had regressed into a slightly surly and jaded personality that I didn't enjoy and have been trying to shake ever since. Luckily I had the chance to reshape myself again with the beginning of my bike trip.
Since then, I've had some amazing experiences and some very lucky breaks. My 3 months on the saddle traversing North America were irreplaceable.
The company of 31 zany young people committed to service did a lot to recharge me. I walked away with another set of what I hope will be life-long friends. Some people set an example for who I want to be (as selfless as Noah, at least) Others helped open up new facets of myself and an appreciation for letting my freak-flag fly (thank you Laura).
The contrast of the lonely American landscape worked from the opposite direction. In the latter half of the trip, I felt the need to break away from the group and see how hard I could push myself physically. I was rewarded with gaining some serenity from the America's wild places. I was no longer self-conscious about being alone, it was something I chose. I was free to focus on self improvement and not worry about what people thought. I was doing things that were good for me, and was much stronger than I've ever been for it.
My lucky break has been being accepted to the program I'm in right now. I found out in the last week of my trip that I was going to be able to do what I had hoped many months back and serve another year of AmeriCorps doing the kind of work that I had missed out on in NCCC-- disaster and conservation.
Since then I've found out that it wasn't exactly as I had expected, but not really in a bad way. The work of the organization is put in a nutshell in the 'Rundown' portion there to the side of the blog. I'm now about 3 months into it, and have just fully gotten into the flow of things, I feel.
Already we've spent in Montana, doing trail work with the Beaverhead/Deerlodge Forest Service office out of Butte, MT. (The time in MT is worth it's own post, but it's almost too late to remember everything). Long story short, I came back with a Federal Chainsaw 'A Sawyer' certification, a lot more beard, and a lot less weight.
Back in Missouri, we've done invasive removal at Peck Ranch Conservation Area; we were trained on wild-land fires and responded to 3 of them outside of Lebanon, Mo; we've blown fire line and cut down big jackpots to prevent high flame heights.
I've enjoyed the physical nature of the work, though it can get tedious at times. My few anxieties with the program is the lack of certainty. You never know where you will be or what you will be doing, day to day. This could and should eventually be a high point once I fully adapt to it, but for now it's just been a pain in the ass. It's impossible to plan for anything-- a party, a trip, going to yoga classes, buying and then using a bag of peppers, you name it. I still have a pair of pants that I ordered a month ago from an Army Surplus store that I haven't been able to pick up due to lack of time. Thank God I got in my grad apps when I did.
I suppose that's about it for now... I have a few other deep thoughts, but feel like holding out for another day when I'm not reintroducing myself to blogging. Hope people will give me a look now that I'm resurrecting this thing. Feel free to leave me comments, so I know you're out there.
1 comment:
Just listening in. Its good to hear from ya. :) - nicole r.
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